00:03 Ai là ComputerBoy?!

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Không ngờ là Blogger cho đăng ký tên hiển thị thoải mái, không kiểm tra trùng!

23:56 Mất cân bằng...

Là người yêu thiên nhiên, yêu tự do nhưng rất hiếm khi mình có được cái tự do mà mình muốn... Để rồi một ngày nọ mình đã nhận ra rằng "cái tự do giữa vô vàn ràng buộc chính là sự cân bằng của các ràng buộc đó."

Nhưng dạo này sự mất cân bằng trong cuộc sống của mình đã quay trở lại làm mình hết sức mệt mỏi! Và tình cờ trong danh sách các bài hát tiếng Pháp mình đang nghe có 3 bài rất đúng tâm trạng... Không biết đến hết đời này mình có học được cách sống cân bằng giữa thế gian này không nữa?!

Comme un Arbre Dans la Ville

Comme un arbre dans la ville Je suis né dans le béton Coincé entre deux maisons Sans abri, sans domicile	Như cây xanh mọc giữa phố phường Tôi sinh ra trong khối bê-tông Bị kẹp giữa hai ngôi nhà đứng Không mái che, không dòng địa chỉ
Comme un arbre dans la ville J'ai la fumée des usines Pour prison, et mes racines On les recouvre de grilles	Như cây xanh mọc giữa phố phường Tôi có khói từ bao nhà máy Và rễ tôi, để giam cầm chúng Họ dùng lưới mà bao chúng lại

Dis Moi

Dis-moi comment faire pour comprendre tout ça Et toi aujourd'hui ai-je encore le droit De croire en des choses qui n'existent pas	Hãy nói tôi nghe làm sao mà hiểu hết được nó Và này, có phải hôm nay tôi vẫn còn quyền Để tin vào những điều không hề hiện hữu
Il y a des moments où je ne sais plus quoi penser Ne pas s'égarer dans l'oubli Ne pas laisser le temps passer Mais je vois tout se dégrader autour de moi Sans aucun respect Je me dis c'est comme ça "La vie est un long combat!"	Có những lúc tôi không còn biết mình nghĩ gì nữa Đừng để lạc trong niềm quên lãng Đừng để thời gian trôi đi mất Nhưng tôi thấy cả thảy đều suy đồi khắp xung quanh Chẳng còn tí tôn trọng nào Tôi tự nhủ mình rằng "Đời người là một cuộc trường chinh!"
Si tu n'as pas compris que la vie est un défi Pour nous les jours se ressemblent La souffrance nous fait survivre ensemble.	Nếu bạn không hiểu được cuộc sống là một thử thách (Thì) Với chúng ta ngày nào cũng như nhau Đau khổ khiến chúng ta phải sống cùng với nhau.

Je Suis Un Homme

Je suis un homme plein d'ambitions Belle voiture et belle maison Dans la chambre ou dans le salon Moi, je tourne en (rond,) je tourne en rond	Tôi là một người đầy tham vọng Chiếc xe xịn và ngôi nhà sang trọng Trong phong ngủ hay trong phòng khách Tôi, tôi quay vòng, tôi quay vòng vòng
Je fais l'amour et la révolution Je fais le tour de la question J'avance, avance à reculons Oui, je tourne en (rond,) je tourne en rond	Tôi yêu đương và tôi làm cách mạng Tôi đi vòng quanh những câu hỏi Tôi tiến lên, tiến lên những bước lùi Đúng, tôi quay vòng, tôi quay vòng vòng
J'ai fait le monde à ma façon Coulé dans l'or et le béton Corps en cage et cœur en prison Moi, je tourne en (rond), je tourne en rond	Tôi đã làm nên thế giới theo cách của mình Đúc trong vàng và trong bê-tông Thân trong cũi và tim trong ngục Tôi, tôi quay vòng, tôi quay vòng vòng
C'est moi, le maître du feu, le maître du jeu Le maître du monde, et vois ce que j'en ai fait Une terre glacée, une terre brûlée La terre des hommes que les hommes abandonnent!	Đó là tôi, ông trùm lửa, ông trùm lạc thú Ông trùm thế giới, và xem này những gì tôi đã làm Một mảnh đất băng giá, một mảnh đất lửa thiêu Trái đất của loài người mà loài người bỏ hoang!

13:30 let's make out

ph: weheartit

12:27 i came across this boy

ph: Inès☆

I was on ChatRoulette one night, a website created to meet random people from all over the world and sometimes you'll find perverts showing off their private parts on the webcam but sometimes, you actually get to meet decent people, really decent people. And that was what happened to me.

I was on the website, had the cursor on the next button so I could just click instead of scrolling to find a next button if I were to come across with say a 40 year old pedo wanking in front of the webcam. To be honest, there were pretty a lot of normal guys I met on the website but most of them had trouble communicating in English and I got pretty bored so I pressed next, next, next... until I came across this boy, who looked decent enough but that wasn't what made me stay to talk to him, it was the set of drums at the back of him that got me intrigued.

So there we were, talking on ChatRoulette with the shitty connection and after what seemed like half an hour, we exchanged our Skype ids and continued our conversation on Skype. We talked just about everything. Our music taste, our perceptions of life, our jokes- we immediately clicked. We talked for about 5 hours before I headed to bed. Since that day onwards, we Skyped every single day for hours. I am 6 hours ahead so sleep had to be sacrificed and to be honest, it was worth it.

I showed him how my college looked like, brought him a tour around my campus. I showed him my house, my friends. We shop together online and show the things we bought. It was like he was here already but the most frustrating part is that, he isn't. How he could just stay there, spinning in his chair, juggling things to kill time while we were on Skype because I had to study for my finals. How I stole glances at him while I did my notes.

But then again, have you ever considered the slight possibility that it could be, fate? I mean, seeing him on ChatRoulette and if I pressed next, I probably would have missed the chance of feeling this way. If the connection was shitty and we didn't manage to exchange any information about one another, if I accidentally closed the website. Anything, I mean, what are the odds?

How is it possible that a boy who lives 6000... 6258.05 miles away to be exact, is able to give me the butterflies?

14:28 i'm not that strong

ph: vicki_king + weheartit

15:09 eventually

ph: buenaventura marco

When you pick me up my favorite songs are always playing. You tell me not to speak, wanting to explain what is going on. You ask for me, but I just can't.

I've always cared for you. Always loved seeing you, hearing from you, fighting with you. At the same time, however, I've hated you. Despised you more than any person I know. You made me hurt in a way that I've never experienced, you embarrassed me, you left me. To this day I cry when I think about that night on the beach when you yelled at the ocean and left our relationship to the waves. I laid in bed during that summer, weeping for reasons I don't even know. Crying for what happened. I had never felt that before.

Getting your letter this summer nearly ripped me to shreds. It was an apology but I cried as if the break up had happened again. My letter back was full of pent up resentment, and I think back now that it may have been too much to be said in a letter. When you read it you wrecked your car. I made you as mad at you had made me. That was the point.

Eventually summer fades and we all come back to school. Seeing you the other day made me livid again. You didn't deserve to even be in the same place as me. You didn't deserve my glances, you knew that. We fought when around each other, people complained about the tension we left in the air. We didn't care. We've never cared.

This time last year we tried this the first time. You came to me, convinced me of the importance of our relationship and I unwillingly agreed. Soon after, everything fell apart. As you come back to me I tell you I can't let you in. I want to. I want to be the one to hold your hand, I want to walk under your arm and feel small, but I can't.

You told me of what you've done this year to keep me close as we walked around the gardens at night. That poem was beautiful, the flowers that I thought were from a friend, the night you came to see my play--all unnoticed. You have always been there and I had no idea. Hearing you say that you want me and only me feels like a dream. I had no idea that I had the ability to care anymore, but I still can't let go. There is something holding me back. Whether or not this will happen again, I can't know. Jumping in head first brought me more pain that I ever thought imaginable. I'm here to say that I am willing to eventually walk up to the shore and ease into that sea where we left us.

Right now, however, I'm not even close to the water.

13:35 when you are attracted to someone

ph: Burçin Esin + weheartit